Girl #1: This suitcase was designed for the sole purpose of transporting a single banana safely.
Girl #2: Wow, someone must have had too much time on their hands.
Labels: Quotes
(This post was previously part of the daily consolidation, but it got to big so I figured it could have its very own title.)
I would like to kick this post off by wishing you all a happy May Day....so go and dance around your May pole or whatever else you're supposed to do on May Day.
Conversation #1
Guy #1: Isn't your birthday today?
Guy #2: Yeah
Guy #1: You killed the Jews!
(Stunned silence from rest of room)
Teacher (to Guy #2): No anti-Semitism in my class!
Conversation #2
Girl: Oh yeah, it is May Day. Where are all the poles?
Guy: In Poland!
Conversation #3
Girl: May I be excused?
Teacher: Only if you take me with you.
Labels: Quotes
1. I am forced to take 15 minutes (or less) showers. (I narrowly avoided 5 minutes showers which would NOT allow time for my conditioner to sit the suggested 3 minutes)
2. My clothes are LINE DRIED. Until you have experienced it you cannot imagine how awful line-dried clothes are; not only are they stiff as boards, they smell funny, take forever to dry and are not compatible with Febreeze-scented dryer sheets.
The following is an example of the environmental insanity I am subjected to:
Me: It smells like horse in here.
Her: Whores?
Me: HORSE
Her: The four-legged animal that one would saddle and ride?
Me: Yes.
Her: That's funny.
Me: It's the line-dried clothes.
Her: If you don't know what fresh air smells like you need to spend more time outside.
Me: This smell isn't fresh air.
Her: Do you know how many people would kill for clothes that smell like fresh air?
Me: THIS ISN'T FRESH AIR
Her: At least it doesn't smell like Febreeze
Me: Febreeze smells good.
Her: It smells perfumey.
Me: Whatever.
Her: Want some granola?
3. Lights must always be turned off. Now, I admit this is a reasonable one– except, I use lights as a reminder system. Say, for example, I have left my notebook in my room while I brush my teeth, I leave my room light on to remind myself that I need to go back there.
4. Stand-by lights now equal the devil. My laptop was unplugged this morning (WHILE CHARGING) because apparently keeping my computer from dying mid-day wastes energy.
Well...yeah...I guess there are only four. Nevermind. (/kvetch)